A cautionary tale
YC: This is Yarn Central calling Pattern Control. Yarn Central calling Pattern Control. Over.
PC: Pattern Central here. Is there a problem, Yarn Control?
YC: I'll say. Can I have your present pattern repeat status on the Print o' the Wave Stole? I repeat, your present pattern repeat status. Over.
PC: Latest information is fifteen repeats completed.
YC: Copy.
PC: I only took one copy for personal use.
YC: No, idiot, I copy your answer. Your lot is on repeat sixteen. Over.
PC: That's all right, isn't it?
YC: 'Fraid not, Pattern Central. We have a situation developing here. At present rate of progress, 45g for fifteen repeats yields a total repeat number of approximately thirty-three repeats with 1g contingency allowance. Over.
PC: But, but...
YC: Yes, Pattern Central. You're going to have to stand down your edging detail. Over.
PC: Oh, I say - that's too bally much. I've a lovely group of boys ready for the edging. They've been training for days. Can't anything be done?
YC: Well, the backroom boys are working on a scheme to reduce the pattern repeats to give you just enough for hems. Over.
PC: Hems? Hems! You expect me to put hems on a lovely thing like that?
YC: Well, call them borders, then. Over.
PC: I suppose we'll just have to put up with it. Though I think it's a bally shame. It's all the CO's fault. Why doesn't she plan things properly? It's the same every time. No thought for us lot. [PC is carried off, frothing at the mouth]
